Lateral Move

Hansel Castro is also writing (much more prolifically) over at PICKSHERRY

Please adjust your bookmarks and go visit me there now! New posts appear daily, Mondays thru Fridays.

Hallucina deals with fiction, but Picksherry is a critical wonderland for books and movies and music and comics and videogames and  whatevers. “Oh, another all-purpose pop culture website, the Internet can never have enough of those!”  But Picksherry is a little different, as you will notice as soon as you land there. I hope you will come to love the kooky krew of kritics that compose the Picksherry family. I think their reviews, which may appear odd at first, will eventually strike a chord with people like you or me, who feel that the coin never has two sides. Simple examination of a coin shows it has at least THREE easily visible sides. As a 3 dimensional object, it’s sort of a squashed-in cylinder. And if you start counting all the depressions and striations on a coin, you’ll realize it’s a veeeery complex object.

So.

PICKSHERRY!

I will see you there.

Mummer’s Farce

mummers

God how I wanted to say

The return of the springtime’s lissome prey

The retreating curling clover

And of course hatred as the incandescent king.

I meant well, fear not

Fuck you, said they idiotic, self-righteousness their brand asunder

Brandy down from holy wonder

Ballerina spiders in powerful webs of demonstrative excrescence

Summer bugs have more movements than Bach

Toccatas and Fritattas and Regattas and stirring archetypes

Not gonna help at all when we get to the fire.

Is this worth your while or anyone else’s?

You just had to be so great, didn’t you, just be the queen’s solstice?

I shouldn’t have wanted to speak up

Teeth the wall trapping the ultimate innocence

Silence makes for both the victim and the unassailable.

 

I missed whatever your soul was last summer.

Just to have the last word in the kingdom of the mummers

 

 

I wouldn’t absolve you

The prie-dieu sprinkled with a broken coca-cola shell

Gone already and soon enough love

Ash is the converse

Out of all possible empires the resolve had weakened

Sponge yellow to temples, popes of lightning,

Cried out rabbis standing as if aware at last of tip-toeing serpentines

 

Pushcart prices up among the small who press

Against shallow panegyrics and connected dinner cars

Angrily scream it all out into your smile and let them march on

God how stupid it all seems, how stupid she seems, how stupid I seem,

How rude is this verminous Chattanooga,

The choo choo of metallic steam on the escape route

I recollect nothing but contempt

And them even more nothing but bitters and dregs.

Pox on the punters.

A good old day, granted the grunters.

 

On Whether a Table is a Table

What a waste of time, philosophy. Penniless nerds pondering whether “a table is a table.” A table IS a table, and that’s that. And if it isn’t, who cares! Right?

Thought of any “non-profitable” nature is often mocked as a waste of time. Philosophy- the love of wisdom- a mere collegiate perversion. Egg-head territory. Don’t think: punch the clock, grind your teeth, collect the pay. Keep things tweet-simple. Intellect is the root of all evil.

Let’s try to make a case for discussing tables.

Because a table is NOT objectively a table. A table can easily be a very uncomfortable bed. Or an unusually big chair. My coffee “table” is indeed smaller than a chair. In fact it is closer in kinship to a chair-ish “stool” than to my dining-room table. A table is a rectangle when viewed from above. But sometimes it is a square or a circle of a triangle, and can assume any number of unexpected forms in the hands of a visionary designer. Is a table the place where “one puts dishes”? If I put a dish on your head, do you become a table? Or are “tables” already human? (What IS a human?) And when does a table stop being a table and become an altar? Do the services provided by the table change its essential nature?

Or… wait… is a table actually a graphic arrangement of chemical elements?!?

It may be that our Platonic table, bearing only tangential connection to our tangible tables, is simply “a surface in which we put things.” And that “Platonic ideal” may help us recognize tables- but only in a table-centered society. The ground was the world’s first table, much like the cupped hands are the world’s first dish and glass. Many a Neanderthal never learned the concept of “table” and would have been puzzled as to their use. The earliest tables can only be traced to as recent a tribe as the Egyptians, and it wasn’t until the Greeks that tables were first tentatively used for dining purposes.

WHO CARES ABOUT ANY OF THIS?

Maybe these questions aren’t worth more than a few minutes of mental energy. But if we never wonder about tables, we will never develop the mental tools to question anything of any higher complexity – and there are few concepts as un-complex as “tables.” Not having the imagination to wonder about tables leaves us hopelessly inept when facing higher-level, abstract concepts as endlessly subjective as
‘human relationships,’ ‘sexuality,’ ‘identity,’ ‘morals’, ‘economics’, ‘religion,’ ‘politics,’ ‘society,’ ‘life.'”

There are no “facts”: facts are only heavily enforced opinions. You may believe that someone is six-feet-tall and that is a “fact.” But the fact crumbles when one starts wondering: what IS a foot? Whose ‘foot’ exactly? Who decided that a foot was a valid, universal source of measure? Why do these “feet” correspond to the average feet of males, and why were females not asked to the measurement party? To say that feet are feet, and everyone knows what they are, and that it’s all, is only contrary to “objective” reality: no one is “six-feet-tall”. People are only six-feet-tall depending on what subjective measurement system they choose to participate in.  Travel around Europe and your “objective height” will quickly vary: there are dozens of different ‘feet’ by region, often varying by inches.  In Bruges, a foot is equal to 274 millimeters. In Tyrol, a foot is equal to 334 millimeters. So an item that is a foot tall in Brussels will MAGICALLY CHANGE its supposedly objective height in feet when traveling to Tyrol. To never wonder about these seemingly unimportant things is to be doomed to ignorance about a complicated, thousands-of-years-old history of laws and regulations, of evolving mathematics, of science allied to government dictums, of massive campaigns of national homogenization, of  local individuality surrendered to global expediency.

In short, wondering about a table may be a minor mental exercise- but by all means, let’s keep our mind sharp with minor exercises. If we can’t be bothered to attempt one easy mental push-up, we’ll never be able to deal with any serious weight-lifting.

Most people do simply accept that a table is objectively a table and never wonder about the set of circumstances that led for them to acquire that belief; these are the people who believe that “it is what it is”; that there is such a thing as a placid lagoon of truth, where there are only the wild tsunamis of perception. If we don’t “waste time” questioning something as simple as a table, we can never hope to question something as complex as life. And if we do not ask questions of life, how we can expect to get any meaningful answers from it?

(Matthew 7:7)

A TALE OF FIVE MINUTES

man-at-window

(For Kate. Good for the goose, good for the gander.)

Since Mr. Ballard had been on Ativan for a while, not to mention Lexapro, Zoloft, Paxil and Wellbutrin, everyone felt uneasy about letting him know that his wife Brenda had been in a disastrous car accident.

It was Chip, Mr. Ballard’s younger brother, who finally texted about it: “Shit. Bro. Sorry 2 tell U, but Brenda was in an accident. Flipped the Explorer off US 1. Fucking American cars! Try not 2 lose Ur shit over this, ok? She’s DOA. Be strong.”

Other men might have taken a while to process this, might have felt disbelief, might have left their gaze drift about in confused aimlessness. Not Mr. Ballard. He understood at once, and pictured the car as a burning hulk by the side of the highway, and Brenda twisted somewhere in that flaming vehicular prison, and the hopeless ambulance ride as the EMTs gave up on the corpse. Mr. Ballard sobbed with sudden, wild abandonment, like he had sobbed at the beginning of Pixar’s “Up,” or at the end of Pixar’s “Finding Nemo,” or throughout most of Pixar’s “Toy Story 3.”

Continue reading “A TALE OF FIVE MINUTES”

THIS LAND CAN BE QUITE UNFORGIVING (Part 2)

THIS LAND CAN BE QUITE UNFORGIVING (Part 2)

 

(Continued from Part 1)

Leland Granger was a lean man with somewhat aristocratic airs and a graying mustache that curved around a sardonic smile. That smile was on glistening display as he rode into Thirsty Gulch in his chestnut saddlebred, and it extended even further as Granger inspected the outside of Paw Jenkins’ cabin, which, if the strict truth be told, was in need of much repair.

“Cozy little secluded state, Hank! Makes it hard for old friends to track you down.”

“That is one of its many admirable qualities.” Paw Jenkins laughed as he walked down the porch steps to greet the visitor. “Come here, Leland, you son-of-a-snake, and let me shake your double-dealing hand!”

Continue reading “THIS LAND CAN BE QUITE UNFORGIVING (Part 2)”

THIS LAND CAN BE QUITE UNFORGIVING (Part 1)

THIS LAND CAN BE QUITE UNFORGIVING (Part 1)

 

Paw Jenkins still made some money ranging and bounty hunting on Merokee Plains, but of late he had slowed down and was more into stealing horses and skinning anything unfortunate enough to have fur. This gave him more time to think of Bolo and Mellie, the children he kept on his cabin by Thirsty Gulch. The cabin was all crooked logs that leaned over the ravine just like Paw Jenkins leaned over Mellie and Bolo after a night of gin-guzzling to say:

“Don’t you all cry and moan. That’s how the wolves know to get you.”

Continue reading “THIS LAND CAN BE QUITE UNFORGIVING (Part 1)”

MARCEL GOES TO WORK

MARCEL GOES TO WORK

 

“He applied and was chosen for an unpaid post at the library. He found the place too dusty for his lungs and asked for an ever longer series of sick leaves (…) After he repeatedly failed to report for work, showing up one day a year or less, even his unusually tolerant employers dismissed him, five years after he had first been taken on.” – Alain de Botton, “How Proust Can Change Your Life.”

Francine was merrily whistling “Frere Jacques” and dusting off the backs of the many weighty manuscripts contained within the Bibliotheque Mazarine, (23 Quai de Conti, Paris, France.) She had gone up a very long ladder to pay particular attention to a high shelf containing Madame de Salacieux’s “Les Liasons Excitantes, Tomes I-LXIX,” so naturally she became alarmed when the ladder began to shake.

Continue reading “MARCEL GOES TO WORK”